The Transgender Dominion

I don’t travel in the circles of other transgender. My son is the only other transgender person I have ever met face to face, that I know of. I would love to make friends and hang out if they were good people, I am an introvert and it takes a lot for me to overcome that. I have heard that in a lot of cases, when groups of trans get together that it can get clique-ish. That these cliques can become very judgmental of others for not being transitioned, or transitioned enough, or even passing etc. I admit this causes me some concern, I never feel transitioned enough for myself, no idea what trans-snobs would think of me. I think it is easy to forget how it felt being the newly out person, or to be jaded because they spent so much money transitioning and this new person hasn’t done that yet or doesn’t need to spend that money. It becomes a kind of badge that they probably feel must be earned. Of course, that isn’t how it is in reality. In reality, we all walk our own path, transitioned or not, if you are transgender you just are, regardless of a judgement rendered by your peers.


I was recently on Facebook and noticed that someone was in a tirade over a British comedian, Eddie Izzard’s, claim that he is transgender. [Note: I will be using masculine pronouns in reference to Eddie Izzard, because that is how he continues to refer to himself.] The person who ranted didn’t like that Eddie was “pretending” or using a transgender claim as a way to boost his presence. Now, I had known from his comedy specials (Dressed to Kill, Circle, etc) that he identified himself as a transvestite, or an executive transvestite. How much of that was his comedy, or how he actually identified I have no idea, and frankly I didn’t care. I don’t need to know a person’s gender or even sexual orientation for me to enjoy them as an actor or comedian or a dog walker or person sitting on a bench, anything really. 


In the Facebook post the person who was ranting had referenced the article (which I of course cannot find the actual post now to give the URL for the article), instead here is a similar article.


In both articles he says he came out 32 years ago as transgender. I read the article I cannot find now, and this article and I still cannot actually understand if he came out, then how does he refer to himself as “he” and why still use a male name. But here is the thing I don’t have to understand a thing about him for his being transgender to be real and true. I don’t have to do a thing, don’t have to care, don’t have to shout or shrug. Why other transgender people have this feeling that they alone can judge who is also sufficiently trans has always been a mystery to me. I don’t have to conform to anyone’s idea of trans for me to be a woman. I don’t even like being transgender at all, I mean I support the cause; I want everyone to be treated like a person and not like outcasts or beaten and killed. But the truth of it is, if I could, all transgender would magically be transformed into the gender they are supposed to be, leaving no one to be transgender, just people. Labels are used to control people; labels don’t work in the interests of the minority. So, I don’t care how Eddie Izzard identifies. I don’t care that people see a bloke in a dress because he still uses masculine pronouns and his male name, they were going to do that anyway and it is his life. His being transgender doesn’t detract from me any more than two gay people being married detract from my marriage, which is also a gay marriage.  Do two bisexual people being married constitute gay marriage? No idea. 


2 thoughts on “The Transgender Dominion

  1. Beth, I decided to follow you on Twitter after checking out your blog and reading this post. I, myself, identify non-binary trans. My daughter also happens to be transgender, and it was her transition last year that blew the door off my closet, allowing all my skeletons to escape. At this point, I'm still stealth from everyone, as I have no intention of transitioning. I do suffer dysphoria, but very mild, and I'm very much like a pendulum swinging between male and female, so that's my shit sandwich. I also agree completely. If gender is spectrum then so is trans. If you ever felt, desired, wanted to be the gender you weren't assigned then you are probably trans. Cis people don't think that way. Anyways, just wanted to say hi, I'll be following…and if you want you can find me on Twitter @realshadowrose.


  2. Allison, Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog posts and following me on twitter! The great part of realizing who you are isn’t the transition, it’s the realization itself. Transition is an action, it’s not a declaration or a way to mark those who are “serious” about being trans. If I don’t get into my car, it is still a car. I am glad you were able to open up, with your daughters transition. I gained the same courage from my son, and I am thankful that he had that strength. Your daughter must be truly amazing!
    I’m sorry that you must suffer dysphoria, however mild, it is a daily challenge. I think that the people you surround yourself with should love what is behind your eyes. By that I mean they should be able to look into your eyes and tell you that they love you without worrying about what surrounds those eyes. They should love your soul. I have been fortunate in that most of the Cis people in my life aren’t just accepting, they are loving and caring. While they may not fully understand what it means when I tell them I am a woman, despite the biological parts that mark a male, they only care that I am me, the person they love. That is enough for me. Not all Cis are that way, it can be difficult to explain that just because someone uses the label “trans” doesn’t mean one thing, there are gradients. There are gradients to Cis as well, though they may not realize it. It’s true though, most don’t think that way, unfortunately.
    BTW, just followed you on twitter J I’m always happy to make friends, and now you are one!


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