What Comes Around and Other Thoughts

My wife and I are going on a trip to Universal Studios in Florida. We are both geeks and we both love Harry Potter, so I’ve booked us for next month (belated Honeymoon/early Anniversary). We are extremely excited and looking forward to it. I will be going as my mask as I don’t want to put my wife through any issues and frankly I am not up for a long car ride and having to worry over which bathroom I can use without being called out in a truck stop. I look forward to the day I don’t have to do this, but I’m still taking my makeup kit and some clothes for when we are there.

We are planning on picking up my wife’s niece on the way back as her sister lives in Florida, so that she can spend time with our daughter and enjoy the summer with us. I told my wife that if this happens, which I am perfectly fine with, then it is entirely possible that her niece will find out about me. Our daughter might tell her, or she may find artifacts of my presentation, etc. I’m not going to hide who I am, so I told her that this may be an issue with her parents and sister if they find out. 


She said she is fine with them knowing, she just didn’t want our son blabbing about me because outing someone is not right. (in a previous post I explained that my son had gotten drunk and outed me to his aunt, who then told my wife’s parents) I am pretty happy with the fact that my wife is ok with her family knowing, as I have told almost everyone that is close to me but them. This is a big step and I am glad this is coming around. I am so tired of hiding this, so tired of being made to feel like I should be ashamed. I’m not happy with my body, I can’t help what it is, but I’m not going to be ashamed or hide that I am a woman from my family. So this works out very well for me.


Meanwhile… At work, I often go to one of the two bathrooms that are marked as unisex. There is only one person at a time in these and I am more comfortable. However, there are those times when either both of those bathrooms are occupied or some disgusting piece of filth has managed to pee on the seats or other fully worse things. In these cases I go to the mens room. Inevitably, when this happens I go to a stall and do what I need to do, but then three or four men come in just behind me. (bathroom has two stalls and one urinal) I am surrounded by belching, farting, groaning (pain) pissing men and I find it very hard to use the bathroom myself and not be sick. I don’t believe that I am overreacting.

When I was in the military, I was deep in my mask, but even then I had to mentally prepare myself to use the bathroom with men around me. I am not deeply hidden behind my mask anymore, I can’t just act like it doesn’t bother me when men are disgusting. I’m still looking for employment somewhere else more.. accepting for at least equal pay. This is just not going to happen I fear, so I have to see what I can do with less money but in a place that may be more for me.


2 thoughts on “What Comes Around and Other Thoughts

  1. It looks like things are moving in the right direction for you. I'm glad your wife is fine about her family knowing as that is another hurdle to face.

    As for mens toilets, in general they are disgusting and you can smell them even just walking past. However I have been in plenty of situations where the ladies loos are just as bad. There are some disgusting women out there with terrible toilet hygiene.

    Good luck with the job hunt!


  2. We will see, for good or bad they are going to find out. May as well be sooner than later. I know women's restrooms can be horrible too, but I am literally surrounded by men using the bathroom. Ugh.
    Thanks, I am looking with intensity now. 🙂


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