How do I reconcile Fathers Day and being transgender? How can I be a father, knowing that I am female inside? That my children (mostly) know that I am female inside?
It seems a misnomer, but it would be inaccurate to say that fathers are strictly men. Single mothers also have to be fathers, and while being alone, having only one vision of a child’s development is limiting, it is still as valid. So too, can transgender women still be fathers, sharing in your child’s upbringing. It can be “my two moms” if you wish, but I still like to go by “mom and dad”, it keeps the child aware that you aren’t the same person as your spouse, that different views exist.
I am a transgender woman, and I am a father. I care for them, feed them, keep a roof over their heads. I bleed for them, wipe their noses and pick them up to set them on their feet again. It’s a word, but ultimately it just means that I love my kids and I do what I have to in order to make sure they grow up right, become good citizens of the earth and care for the giant blue marble that they must some day be the guardians of. It doesn’t matter what the gender is, or the sexual orientation, any more than it matters what color my hair is. Being a father means being there for your children, and sometimes letting them fall so they understand gravity.
Being full time may have consequences in the outside world, but in my home it will hardly change a thing. Other than looking different, I will still be the person that loves her children and protects them.
Happy Fathers Day, ladies, gentlemen and any flavor in between. If they haven’t thanked you, I will. Thank you for being there for your child(ren).