Pondering the planning

So, I was able to tell my son and my wife, who I am. Who I really am and not the façade they are seeing before them. I have another son and a daughter that need to be told. He is 22 and already deals with the issue from Martin, so that should not be a problem. I have to wait a bit for our daughter to get through puberty a bit more, to acclimate to the issues already before her. I don’t want to wait, I want to do it now, but I have to give her time.


I have read many things about transition, but one sticks with me. If you do this, you must be prepared to lose your work and your home, your family and your friends. I think that I have a secure enough family that I won’t lose most of them, perhaps one of my brothers. Of friends, there aren’t that many to be honest, but almost all of the ones I have are no strangers to alternative lifestyles, so I’m not sure this will be a lot different, or perhaps I am just being hopeful. 


My work? Yeah, I will lose that, most assuredly. Or at least I will be treated so badly, so horribly that I couldn’t possibly work there. But I live in an “at-will” state, so most likely I will be let go immediately. I will have to think on that one, what my plan is when this happens. Worst case scenario. My home?It’s a possibility; I have to pay a mortgage. I only have one neighbor and we are putting up a privacy fence this week. So, it only comes down to the job situation and continuing to pay my mortgage.


Not a lot of reasons I can see to not do it, though I think I will decline full transition. I think I would like to go all the way up to an orchiectomy, and stop at that point. I want to stop completely the testosterone. I have a lot of planning and not really a lot of time. I am old, only getting older and I am tired of waiting for magic to happen or suppressing who I am for other people.

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