I received a wig in the post a few weeks ago, a HH wig that was neither expensive nor badly manufactured. It is less than shoulder length as I don’t want it to seem like I am trying so hard to hide my features. Also, the previous wig is long, and still serviceable, so I wanted something that was a different style. I am still not sure which length is better for my face or frame.
I also obtained some makeup, some ordered online, some bought in walmart. I have concealer and primer, brushes and eyeshadows. I have, in short, all the things one needs to make a girl seem less imperfect. Of course, this would be the case if I were an expert or even a trained novice in makeup application. At the moment, our 13 year old daughter is better than even her mother at applying and correctly matching cosmetics. I wish I could tell her, I waffle on telling her. Not just to get expert makeup tips, but because I don’t like hiding who I am. And I should start these truths with my immediate family, I would think. I’m afraid of the look in my little girls eyes, as that look changes while she starts to understands what I am saying, then finally what it means. That me, the only father she has really known, isn’t a man. She has already been let down by her biological father, a man who she can’t really remember. I just don’t want to let her down at all. But I digress.
I have shown my wife my wigs, shared with her my cosmetics and worn them when I am able. She doesn’t say much about them, she acknowledges them, will give me advice on them, but I sense hesitancy, which is something I should just accept. I should appreciate that she isn’t violently opposed to who I am.
I must give her time. I have had all my life to deal with this, to figure out what is going on.