ich bin eine frau

I’ve been in Germany almost a week. I’ve spent most of that time with my co-workers and bosses. We have been out to drink, which I don’t really care to do, several times. I like experimenting with beer, mainly to see if I can find one I actually like. But hanging out with my bosses after they have had a few drinks clarifies a lot of things for me. I can never come out to these misogynistic, homophobic jerks about who I am. I didn’t join in with their gay jokes or with their making fun of two gentlemen who where enjoying time together in a nice plaza. They made remarks about skinny jeans on men, how gay it was, how they should just wear dresses. It was a pretty bad night. I have to work with these people but I don’t even want to look at them. I struggle with my body image and gender so the thing I really want to hear is how a lovely woman looks like a dude. But I endure this because I have a family, I have to work. So I can’t be me to them, to people like them. I don’t care what they think, I do care that they can put me out of a job. Other than these jerks, Germany has been fun. The people are very nice and I love the towns. One more week to endure/enjoy.

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