I’ve been out for several years now and I still get giddy every time someone uses my true name and correct pronouns. I feel goosebumps every time Michelle calls me her wife. I am pleasantly surprised when a guy lightly flirts with me or a vendor calls me “Ma’am”. It’s not just validation, it’s a …
Turning to a New Year
In keeping with my positive attitude, I am looking forward to the New Year. A time, not to reinvent, but to acknowledge my flaws and do a better job of accepting them. I have held so tightly to the control of things, to my own detriment, that I have forgotten what it is like to …
Hindsight is 2020
The temptation to look back, in detail, upon the year of 2020 is allayed by the sheer foulness of its content. Yes, some events took place within the year that were good and noteworthy. But as with all things, you cannot take the good without the bad, in this case extraordinarily bad. So I will …
A Change in the West Wing
[ ANDREW HARNIK | AP ] Sunday, November 8th, I watched our USA President-Elect Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris give their victory speeches before a huge outdoor crowd. They spoke and I felt hope. A hope in their ability to dig us out of a hole that was left behind from the current …
An Allied Front
Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash ** I’m highjacking my own post, written a week ago. Election Day for the USA is happening right now. I hope that for our sakes there is record turnout for Democratic supporters. I understand that everyone has their reasons for what party they support, but I’m sorry if you …
Familial & Military Progress
Photo by Adam Nieścioruk on Unsplash Like most people, I have had trouble dealing with the pandemic, the uncertainty of employment and with our political climate. So it’s no wonder that most of my latest writings are darker in nature than they typically would be. It stands to reason that my posts from a year …
Painless
[Warning - Suicidal Ideation] I don’t often give in to despair, it’s usually ennui, aftermaths of gender dysphoric episodes or depression but it rarely delves deeper than that. And since coming out, they have all been greatly diminished, but not banished. However, last month I was at a fairly low point. I had been feeling …
Anniversary of Wood
This is the story of Michelle and I, how we met and the long, winding journey to finding a relationship. This story is all decidedly one-sided, by the way. I’m only telling the tale from my perspective. Michelle, Dawn and Pat, they would all have vastly different tales to tell. None of them, showing me …
Fifty
On Friday, I turned 50. I know, I know, “whaa??? But you look so young!” I get that all the time. The aging I can handle, it is what it is. But there have been a lot of pressures this year, from a pandemic, bills, my work and my feeling of being inconsequential to my …
Personal Updates
I tried CBD oil for the first time, Wednesday night. I have been doing much better with panic and have had few attacks in the last several months. Part of it is my learning to deal with actual emotions, learning to acknowledge them without letting them overwhelm me. The other issue was I reduced my …
